Dreamin' of a Green Christmas...

Ok, before you send me hate mail, let me explain...I am dreaming of a snowy, crisp, white Christmas. The green would be in the form of some parent friendly, earth happy, child lovin' gifts! I cant tell you how many times in the last few weeks I have been asked by a customer at our mama and baby boutique, 'how do I get my family on board for a green christmas?" The common culprits are well-meaning, child-loving Grammas and Papas and Aunties and Uncles. Even moms and dads get caught in this crazy gift giving free for all.
I remember when my husband and I were still childless and thoroughly enjoying being and auntie and uncle to my niece Isabella. My hubby especially would spoil her, bringing her a surprise every time we went to visit and buying her things when she came to see us ( which was often). Then the day came when he walked in the door at her house and she ran up to him, stopped short at his feet and asked "What did you bring me?"  As cute as she was, it hit home that he had overdone it a bit with the "stuff'"...which I am sure no one appreciated this realization more than my sister!
Now that we are parents and we find ourselves constantly purging toys and clothes and just..."stuff"...on a regular basis. I have learned to appreciate gift cards and gift certificates like never before. But the best gifts we have come to enjoy are the ones that help us make memories with our son. Memories dont crack or break or lose parts or melt (?!) ...or get lost in the wash or run out of batteries or get sucked up by the vacuum...eaten by pets, fall into the vents or get buried in the sandbox...
My mom has come up with some wonderful gifts of memories over the years. Trips to fun hotels, and shows. My mom-in-law has given some thoughtful gifts of memories saved. Now, dont get me wrong here! Before my family runs out and returns my gifts, let me say I an not a complete Scrooge. I love giving and getting thoughtful and fun gifts. Its just that as a parent now I want to teach my children the value of life over things, the value of family over money, the value of grace over greed, and the value of loving others over ourselves. As I watch sacred holidays become disgustigly commercialized more each year, I find myself almost bending backwards the other way to avoid falling prey to it. I have the most wonderful memories of Christmas...I cant remember what i got each year, but I do remember that Santa (Dad) came to visit us at our house every Christmas eve to give us one gift before bed. Its a memory I keep alive now with my son and husband as he plays santa for us.The gift is never big or important, usually new pajamas. Its the experience and the memories we are making.
I heard a story about a missionary and his family (forgive me if I get this wrong, I cant remember who told this) who every Christmas his family and himself were sent many lovely donated gifts from sponsoring churches at home. After unwrapping their gifts and playin with them, the children would choose their favorite one and wrap the rest up and take them to give to the local children who had literally nothing. Now that may seem extreme or even mean to some, but I have been there. I have had the immense pleasure of staying with a missionary family in Guatemala for almost a month during hurricane Mitch. I have seen how it changes children, to see other children without home, food, clothing or family. I let almost everything I had brought with me, I couldnt belive how much we took for granted, how much stuff we thought we needed. I gave my favorite watch away to a very grateful teacher and have never worn one since ( much to the frustration of my poor husband!) My dad went to Cuba on a missions trip once and he couldnt belive the extent and danger the local host went to in order to get meat for their dinner. Dad was exceptionally humble to begin with but he said this made him feel so humbled. When was the last time our children felt awed and humbled by generosity? When was the last time we did?
I know, every year I hear parents saying they agree, we should all be teaching it isnt about getting gifts, its about giving...but do we really? As I watch the frantic parents racing to find all the gifts on their list, watch the strained faces at the cash registers as credit cards get maxed out, I wonder. I wonder if come January and the toys have been played with and forgotten and the bills start coming in, was it worth it? If we can honestly say yes, then I am glad. I think the Wise Men had it right: they each brought one gift for the young King.
Some "Green" ideas:
Think outside the box! instead of wrapping gifts, put them in fabric santa bags you can use each year.
This year we are making a wooden treasure chest to put under the tree and put Zac's gifts in
For every gift you buy, (hypathetically)think of putting the same amount into your child's RESP or your savings...you will be amazed at how it helps you reign in the spending!
Give gifts that make memories, not more mess
Do a wish list registry for your kids! Helps grandparents stay on track and you know best what they will play with. Toys r us, Baby Safety Superstore, Sears and even our local boutique offer gift registries.
Pay with Cash! Save the heartache and stress, budget and stick to it
Wood toys are always a better investment with little guys.
Traditions can be a blessing or a strain...keep the ones that work for you family and let go of the ones that dont hold personal meaning to you anymore.

Happy Memory making!

How much would you give??

Please take a minute and read fellow blogger and lovely business mama, Gillian's blog...and help as you can.
If these were your babies, how much would you give?
Blessings!


http://gigiphotography.com/blog/?p=4382

Pennicilin...or Popcycles and Patience?

I should have known it was going to be an eventful weekend when, at 7:30 in the morning, my wonderful husband was outside kicking and hammering our lovely new-to-us tent trailer. He was supposed to be closing it so we could take it up to the cottage for our family thanksgiving…but closing was the last thing the trailer wanted to do. In the end, racing against the clock and our ferry booking, we resigned to leaving it behind and daddy would have to sleep on the couch-again. Then began our adventure!

Our 2.5 year old had been battling a head and chest cold like so many others at this time of year. It didn’t worry me, he has an amazing spirit and is just as happy and energetic when he has a cold as he is any other day. What I was wary of though was the chance this may progress to an ear infection as it has twice before. There really is very little in the way of common childhood illness as awful as an nasty ear infection, as many a parent would attest to. His first experience with it was over a year ago and I suspected that was what the fever was about when it popped up in the middle of a cold and not at the beginning. So I reached for the Belladona remedy to help relieve the pain and made up some garlic oil. Dumping out the contents of an old Tempera bottle that hubby had mistakenly bought, I stored the oil in there and at bath time and in the mornings I dropped the warm oil into his infected ears.

Still, there was the feeling and unspoken pressure that I wasn’t being a good mom because we didn’t rush out to the doctor and get him some sort of medicine. Our family doctor sees my son and I once a year at best, so I compromised and went to a very good walk-in clinic in town. Having a classically trained Homeopath as a big sister who was an excellent source for research and info, helped bolster my confidence that I was doing my best for our son and we went to have our suspicions simply confirmed.

Sure enough, he had a mild infection in one ear and moderately worse in the other. The doctor said it looked like the oil was helping and we had caught it early enough. Yay-point for mommy! He then proceeded to write us a prescription for antibiotics, WHILE telling us that there is no real reason to give it since it has been shown to only cut the infection time by a day or two at best. Huh? I am confused…why are we getting a prescription then? So hubby wanted to fill said prescription and we compromised: I would fill it but I wanted two more days to try to get rid of it naturally. So that is what we did.

Two days later I threw out the antibiotics from my fridge with much satisfaction. Zachariah was feeling much better and our family doctor confirmed it by the end of the week saying his ears were clear and fine. When I told him how we treated it he looked very dubious and said well it would have cleared on its own then, it wasn’t anything you did. Ok.

Moving on to just before his second birthday and here comes another head cold as we move into spring. As soon as a fever hit md-cold and his one ear looked pinker than normal I hit it again with the oil for two days and he ate every meal with garlic-yum! ( good thing he loves it) By the end of the week the cold was all but gone and another brief clinic visit to confirm his ear was on the mend. Yay-another point for mommy!

Fast forward now to this past thanksgiving weekend, when my non-vaccinated, non-dairy, chiropractic kid since he was 1 day old, child was into week two of a very phlegmy chest cough and cold. It was very unusual for him to be sick for this long, normally a week to 10 days max. We made it to Sunday night without any worrying symptoms and then it hit. 1 in the morning he started screaming in his sleep that he couldn’t swallow and it hurt. He was only slightly fevered but in obvious agony. I thought it was his throat so I tried to sooth it. He wanted to sleep out on the couch so we went to the couch. He would fall asleep for 10 minutes and wake up screaming again and ask to go to bed. We did this trip from bed to couch until 6am when we took the short drive to the Mindemoya ER. And waited. And waited. And waited…we were the only people there! He was very hot and lethargic now, sleeping only when I covered his ear with my palm and rubbed gently in circles. The doctor finally arrives, is really great with Zac, and confirms that he does indeed SEEM to have a raging ear infection in one ear…not the one I am rubbing! He also goes on to say he could have hand, foot and mouth infection that is going around but since he isn’t in daycare its unlikely. But to watch for further symptoms. Again, confused. Then he goes on to say we should give it 24 hours and see how it develops for his ears as it may take care of itself.  Ok. Since nothing is open on the holiday Monday, including the one pharmacy in town, I asked if we could have some syringes of Advil to hold him over till Tuesday when I could get some homeopathics and garlic oil into him. So as we waited the nurse filled up a bunch of syringes with the red liquid…and then some with pink liquid, and handed me both. Again, confused. What was the pink one for we asked? That was his antibiotics and here was the prescription for the rest. For what? we then asked. Ummm…his infection. Hand foot and mouth. Or for his ear. Riiiigghht. No thanks! We were told to wait 24 hours and see how it develops first so if you don’t mind we will take the prescription just to be safe and the Advil and be on our way now. Sigh.

Now begins the battle of the wills. Zachariah refuses to take anything he knows is medicine, even if it tastes delicious. Since he was a baby and on the VERY rare occasion had to have Tylenol or Advil, he would throw it up within minutes of getting it into him. So we tried chewables. Advil came in blue chewables that had aspartame in them. Great. He puked blue all over me in the Hungry Bear restaurant much to the dismay of our lovely friends we met there, and then proceeded to gobble up all my broccoli on my plate. My poor little man was more miserable than I have ever experienced with him and hope to never experience again. His ear was not draining at all and the fever not breaking, even with meds. We finally made it home Tuesday afternoon and Wednesday morning he seemed much more himself with some garlic oil and Tylenol in him. Until night fell and we entered our fourth night without sleep and constant ear rubbing. We managed to get to the chiropractor the next morning and then to the walk in, where we found his other ear was infected and the first one was fine. Hmmm. We left with another prescription for antibiotics. I have to pause here and add that I am not against antibiotics as a whole. I know they are very important and work great in some situations. I also know what research is showing with regards to ear infections and it goes against all I believe in for my child’s health to knock down their immune system at the worst possible time of year, on the chance it will shorten the duration of the ear infection. However, as I mentioned, we were heading into day five now of no sleep, and this mama does not exist without some sleep. I was done in. We started the antibiotics, more for me than for him! Of course, getting them into him twice a day was a whole other story, worse than pilling a cat. After almost a week of constant Tylenol or Advil every 4 hours, interspersed with many, many popcycles and baths (usually together) and one more very public Zac puke-fest in a restaurant as daddy and I tried to cram some food into us, we managed to get into a steady uphill climb out of the pit of despair. It wasn’t until Monday that he had his first Tylenol free day and did fine. It wasn’t until last night that we had a full night of sleep. His body seems to hate the antibiotics as well as it gives him a complete personality change into a screaming, tantrum prone little boy. So we have increased the probiotics now and all his other vitamins and will be steering clear of sugar and large groups of children, so as to not overload his exhausted immune system, and his exhausted mommy!

After one particularly trying night my husband asked me if we did the right thing in not giving him the antibiotics right from the start. I was already feeling like a failure and sleep deprivation didn’t help, and I started to cry. I truly thought, based on Zac’s past bouts with ear infections, that we would be fine. Even now I don’t have an answer for that but look at it in the same way I look at choices in labor and birth. Would I be content to simply just do what everyone does without question or what seems to be the only choice? Or will I want to know that I tried everything in my power to help him get well before I went with the norm. As it stands, most ear infections run their course within 5-7 days. So did the antibiotics really heal it up or was it everything else I had been doing that helped it run its course? I’ll never know.

The birth of Nurtured

If this were a pregnancy, I would be at that anxious anticipation stage of the third trimester, where every twinge and odd feeling makes one pay close attention. The difference is, there is no guessing on the EDD (due date)…this baby is going to be born on the 25^th of September, ready or not!
As with many pregnancies, the first trimester of business was full of excitement, worry, planning, dreaming, and of course, risk. It was also a bit of a surprise! A space came available to us that was so perfect we had to take a chance and go for it, even though it was not quite the timing we were going for. It felt a bit like when I found out I was pregnant with our first child, after being told it would take some medical intervention to accomplish just that. Surprise! We were on our way. Growing a baby, however, requires very little in the way of sacrifice IF you were already living in such a way as to prepare for pregnancy. A business, on the other hand, requires your “all” from the start. After the excitement and dreaming and planning slows to a quiet murmur, you are left with the nausea. What have I gotten myself into?
I have always been taught that in all I do, to do my best. Through my pregnancy I took extra good care of myself, took my vitamins religiously, exercised, and prepared for the birth. As a childbirth educator, I had it all figured out. Right. After ignoring 3 hours of painless contractions coming every 2-3 minutes, convincing myself I had at least 12 more hours of this, driving by myself from Bolton to Orangeville, stopping for a sub sandwich (and trying to breath quietly through very intense contractions while eating), then driving yet again to Shelburne to pick up my bags. Thinking I would be able to make it back to Bolton for my planned homebirth with York Midwives at my sister’s house, I literally crawled into my kitchen to heat up a rice pack for my back, which I swore was in the process of breaking. Then the shower was looking like a good idea, until my water broke a few minutes later and spontaneous pushing began. Now on the phone with my midwife (who was on the phone with 911) she coached me on how to deliver my son by myself. This was not the plan!

To find "Nurtured", just look for the yellow door in the tiny alley just east of Orangeville's town hall.

Needless to say, it has been a bit like that with the birth of Nurtured except for one big difference: I am not alone this time. My amazing husband, Gabriel, has been my biggest support and financier, business coach (whether I like it or not!) and promoter. He missed his son’s birth but he is here for me every step of the way in this. I also have the most incredible team of doulas as business partners, both literally and metaphorically speaking. They are sacrificing family time, money, and reputation to be a part of this dream and see it wriggle into the light of day, our new baby business. Just like new parents we are dreaming and worrying, planning and hoping for big things in the days to come.
How did it all begin? Well, it all started with the birth of my niece, my first ever birth experience, which inspired me to become a doula. It then expanded to childbirth educator certification and group prenatal classes. The new mom and baby groups came after that and have been going steady ever since. Now you can find us doing prenatal yoga, mom and baby yoga, holistic health workshops, organic baby food workshops, Café au Lait breastfeeding drop-ins, Twoonie drop-in playtimes, and so much more! It has become a blended family as well, with Pottery Parties in the Hills, Tunes 4 Tots, Gigi Photography, Arbour Homeopathy, and all the amazing local businesses who contribute to our space and Boutique.  After 6 years of being “pregnant” with this dream, a very quick labour, Nurtured, A Better Birth Family Centre is about to be born at last!
To register or for more info info@nurtureabetterbirth.com

A Breakthrough

We had a breakthrough in our house tonight...our toddler asked that Daddy stay with him until he fell asleep INSTEAD of Mama! This has never occurred and for this bedtime battle-weary Mama it was a beautiful moment. I can see hope for a sibling for my wonderful, energetic, blessing of a first born.
For those of you who were blessed with those unusual babies who love to sleep and love their own beds, you can now go enjoy your evening as you may always do. For the rest of us with children who are less enthusiastic about sleep and being in bed by themselves, you are not alone!
We embraced the idea of co-sleeping and a family bed long before we ever talked about starting a family. So when we had our son we naturally just kept him close in our bed and strictly followed safe bed-sharing rules. (see bottom of this post) However, every Mama has their limit of breastfeeding all night long just because its there; of playtime at 3am just because they think its morning; and of waking up in a puddle of pee with your pretty much toilet trained two yr old sleeping peacefully beside you.
So into the big bed we went! A very slow and peaceful transition to his own room and bed worked nicely. However, soon came the "one more story", "a drink of water", " I have to pee...again", and " sleep here Mama". I am embarassed to say I often become frustrated very quickly at bedtime, mainly because I know how tired he is ( and how tired I am) and I really want him to be rested for the next day. Of course, he doesnt see it that way. He sees one more chance to tell me his favorite story, look at the stars on his ceiling, or try out his aim in the potty.
With all due respect to Daddy, he has offered and tried many times to take over the bedtime routine. But with inconsistant evenings for work and a Mama-lovin' little guy, it has left him gallantly trying to not feel rejected. So tonight he was a proud Daddy...good job, my hunny, you've got a new best friend!

Safe Bed-Sharing Rules!

v Push bed against one wall and place baby on the bed between mom and wall. A mesh guardrail is sufficient as well until baby is crawling.


v The best way is to simply put the mattresses on the floor

v Place baby on their back to sleep until they are able to roll over on their own

v Baby must sleep only with mom or mom and dad. Only moms have the maternal instinct to respond to their baby’s needs, dad’s do not. This is why we keep baby between mom and wall, not between mom and dad.

v Use a large bed, preferable a queen or king, or two doubles pushed together on the floor ( as long as baby cannot fall between the mattress)

v Keep bedding tightly fitted, avoiding flat sheets and heavy comforters.

v Have a separate blanket for baby

 
Do Not Co-Sleep If:




v You are under the influence of any drug, such as alcohol or pain meds, that would diminish your sensitivity to your baby’s presence

v You are extremely overweight

v You are exhausted from severe sleep deprivation

v It is not your baby. That includes immediate family member such as siblings or grandparents.

v You are breastfeeding on a soft surface such as a sofa or futon.

v You are a heavy smoker

v Avoid heavy perfumes as this can irritate baby’s airways